I’ve only dabbled in sugaring and had 3 sugar daddies back when I was 19-22.

One of them was just someone I had fun visiting once in a while, one had a water sports fetish and I was very adventurous so it entertained me, and the last one was more of a Splenda daddy but all of them genuinely loved me and were all people that I could call if I ever needed anything.

But I felt unwarranted guilt about it back then and ended marrying someone who wasn’t a provider because I felt some strange need to prove that I could care for myself 😂

And I can, but after that experience with my ex husband and an ex-boyfriend who also wasn’t a provider I know I’m definitely more traditionally minded than vanilla men expect me to be these days.

For context : I’m from a Caribbean culture where gender roles and traditions aren’t even discussed, men are expected to provide and women are expected to be home makers. I was raised this way so 50/50 went against everything I believed in.

Anyway fast forward to now and I’m 29, divorced, no kids and I’d be thrilled to get re-married but I’m not in a rush like I was when I was more naive.

I know that I want a more traditional relationship in the future but here’s the kicker.

I just had to break up with a “boyfriend” (I don’t even really believe in bf/gf relationships - for reasons I can explain if asked) because he is NOT someone I could call when I need help whether it’s financial or otherwise.

In fact when I kindly let him know that my small business was slow and that I need support with either my business expenses or personal expenses otherwise I’d have to focus my energy on figuring it out on my own and I wouldn’t have time to see him as much ; he snapped at me and called it vile that I was looking for a sugar daddy because he doesn’t pay for 🐱

Mind you he was 20 years older than me, in one of those “dead bedroom” marriages and quite literally insisted on me being his girlfriend because his marriage was ending anyway (or so he said LOL)

But when he said it I had a lightbulb moment because I wasn’t even looking for an SD, I just want a good man that wants to care of me, maybe start a family, and be happy 😂

Anyway I’m wondering if I’m just a sugar baby and I don’t know it, cause I’d very much rather be a full blown SB than to have a “boyfriend” that doesn’t want to help me succeed.

And don’t get me wrong one of the main reasons I’m attracted to older men is their general ability to provide vs men my age so I genuinely liked him but I know he was just playing with my emotions.

Am I playing myself trying to have a traditional vanilla relationship ?

Maybe I’m fighting my destiny?

(Sorry for the typos)