I have never been on a second date with a POT SB, I have always been terrified of catching an incurable venereal disease from a person who gets paid for being romantic with someone. The fear was so bad I quit using Seeking for almost an entire year and only tried for vanilla relationships. In the past, I had always suggested to pot SBs that we would wear protection regardless, but STD testing is important to me because rubbers aren’t 100% effective and I wanted a long term monogamous relationship in addition to being a guy who might really enjoy giving oral. I need to know someone is clean before I can go down on them.

After a successful platonic M&G 1st date, I always would then suggest over text that we both get tested prior to starting our arrangement. Here is where things started going south. Many POT SBs initially agreed to the idea of getting tested but when days and even weeks passed, many of the SBs who originally agreed to the idea failed to actually get tested despite me showing them my test results. They would say they are scheduled to being tested and then it never happens. I offered to reimburse the cost too. Some confessed that they were terrified of needle sticks and blood draws, and only got tested through urine for bacterial infections. A few SBs actually came through and got tested or had a previous recent test, but I noticed they were missing HSV and/or one other STD. (I recently now learned that most standard tests don’t even test for HSV). I admit to being hyper fixated on the few things they WERENT tested for, but could these fears of mine have been rational or largely overblown? Can I believe a SBs word when she says she has no history of an std and is clean?

I admit to having been persistent in the past for some SBs to be tested again but now to include HSV or whichever they missed on the previous one. This caused them to become frustrated and seek out other POT SDs who weren’t so persistent as me for her to be retested. There will always be another SD out there who doesn’t care about testing, and so I end up with no one.

Im wondering if I should have done things differently especially because now I am considering jumping right back in the bowl. Maybe I could accept just a standard test while simultaneously taking some prophylaxis for STDs. Maybe I can be more trusting when a SB tells me that she has never had lesions or sores, or when she tells me how many partners she has had. How are the pro SDs who have been in the bowl for years been doing this while insuring safety? What advice can you give me after reading my vent?