im finally ready to talk about this so id like to tell you guys a bit about my first arrangement. we met on sa; his profile said separated, no kids, late 30s. he was super fucking charming. things were really great at first. i was more than financially stable, i put a large down payment on a new car within 2-3 months of seeing him, he brought me to run errands all the time, always bought me gifts on those errand trips, and we got to know each other.

after about 8 months of seeing each other, he left his ring on. i didn't say anything. after we fucked, and he went to the bathroom to clean up, he yelled FUCK. i really don't think the ring was an accident tbh. we had a small convo about it where i said i didn't care i just wish he didn't hide it from me. he said he didn't expect to want to spend this much time with someone, he didn't find it necessary to put on a website.

after about a year i found out he has a baby, because of his lockscreen. i didn't say anything. just looked at it and minded my business. he obviously likes to hide things, i started to lose trust.

a little after a year in we started arguing a lot. he wasn't paying as much, he wasn't seeing me as consistently, he said he would switch me to allowance over and over and never did. i was kind of tired at this point.

somewhere around this time i was messing around on my macbook, i don't use it often so it was dead for about a week or two. i was looking thru my screen time trends and noticed the screen time was at 24h a day? while it was dead? i'm not sure if this is a glitch that has happened with apple before, i researched it extensively and couldn't find anything. i thought it was weird, and because i'm a paranoid person, i assumed malware was on my laptop. i backed it up and factory reset it.

i was really paranoid about my devices ever since that happened, as i couldn't really find anything on google that was exactly what i was experiencing, and my sugar daddy started saying weird shit on top of it. he somehow knew exactly what to say. i didn't even notice at first because it was random little things to begin with, like him saying he ate the same thing i ordered for lunch earlier that day. we texted and talked frequently, so it wasn't unusual for him to tell me little details about his day like what he ate for dinner. he started to freak me out with the coincidental conversation starters and almost always asking what i was doing shortly after leaving my home.

i grew to be really paranoid, so i began looking into him, and looking into what was happening on my device. it sounded very similar to a device with parental software installed. i bought a reverse number lookup subscription and dug up as much as i could, which really wasn't much. i found his legal name though, and his facebook. i just wanted to know if i was safe or not. he seems like a normal family man on his facebook, i told myself he wouldn't be capable and let it continue to happen, trying to ignore it.

it eventually progressed to him asking specific questions aimed at what i was texting others about, snapchatting pictures of, etc. my best friends and i have a group chat where i mentioned a couple on sa wanting a threesome. the next few times i saw my sd, he asked me for a threesome. i don't remember the context but my friend had said something about my sd "owing me something" in the gc. the next time i saw him in person and he asked me for a threesome again, i kinda entertained it and asked why i should. he said i don't know, maybe you feel like you owe me something. there were a bunch more little instances like this, and eventually shit hit the fan. i was paranoid as fuck of him, i knew something had to of been on my phone bc of him, or he was in my accounts. he eventually did gain complete access to my accounts, and locked me out of all of them. he changed the email for every account i have to my dead name email, he changed my security questions, changed my passwords, he even got me locked out of an apple id i had since my very first ipod. i still don't have my photos and data back.

one night as i'm driving my friend to the airport, i get a notification that someone's apple device is traveling with me and the owner can see its location. i ask my friend about it and it's not her airpods, and she doesn't have airtags. i go snooping thru my settings and there is in fact tracking data. i clicked the actual notification that popped up and it guided me to an airtag hidden in front of a wheel, where i believe the coolant is also located. i'm not a car girl so don't quote me on that. anyways, it scared me bad enough to discreetly block him on everything after saying goodnight that evening, as he had known something was on my phone because i talked to him about it. i did trust him a lot for most of the arrangement. way more than i ever shouldve.

i filed for a restraining order that i ended up dropping after he paid for a fancy out of state lawyer, the process made him take at least a few mental and financial damages. i didn't really think i needed the order, i knew hed at least leave me alone if i even filed, and that's all i could've asked for. the damages were just fun little fuck yous because of how he treated me.

this is getting kind of lengthy and although it's not a complete description of what happened i believe it's enough. im not even sure how he did it. there was only one time he was alone with my phone, but he didn't know my password. my best guess is some form of parental software? it's not really important anymore, the biggest thing i want whoever reads this to take away is be fucking safe. you don't really know what some of these men are capable of until they actually do it.