I am curious about how many of you are in dynamics where the sub makes more money than the Dom/Domme.

Maybe it doesn’t make sense what the genders are, and, up until this last dynamic, the fact that I (f) made a lot more money than my Dom (m) didn’t bother me. I enjoyed buying him gifts and other things that showed him how much I cared about him. I even paid for the hotel rooms. And, it really wasn’t a problem. Collars, I would buy myself. And I always saw those as mine, bought for myself, because they made me happy. When he presented me with a collar, it was one he had made, and I absolutely loved it! It didn’t bother me that it wasn’t an expensive one, because it was about the meaning behind it.

We broke up because he cheated, and there were some other issues there, so I always struggled with being in submissive mode with him. And I was thinking if money may have also been a motivating factor… more specifically, that he lacked the ambition to get after it (he complained a lot about not having money to do things, so I would often encourage him to apply and get a better paying job). He would tell me how for prior subs he would buy lingerie and other gifts for, but he made more money then.

We were 24/7, btw. But we didn’t live together.

Can one be fully submissive to someone when the submissive is the one paying for everything?? Would the expectation be the same if, for example, it is a male sub and a female D? I suppose in that instance, perhaps the Domme will expect gifts from her sub if that is part of their dynamic.

When it is a male D and a female sub, does the sub having more money shift the power dynamic to an extent that it starts to diminish the sub’s submission?

I apologize in advance, I am not trying to advocate for trad gender roles. Or any of that sort. People should structure their dynamics as they see fit. I am trying to learn more about myself, and by trying to understand how others view income disparities and whether that has ever played a role, it can help me.

Thank you.