I’m a trans girl who is submissive and loves the idea of edging and denying myself for a dominant partner. The phrase “good girls don’t cum” makes me melt. The problem is the reality of denial is often intensely uncomfortable. I almost always experience blue balls when I go for an extended period of arousal without release which can leave me in pain for hours. It really kills the mood and makes me unable to engage in further play.

When I asked a similar question on edging subs, a lot of the guys responded with what amounted to “That’s the best part” or “It’s really not that bad”. Which is great for those people, but it doesn’t really help me. I want to stay horny, I want to stay engaged in a heightened sexual head space for longer, and this pain and discomfort takes me out of it.

I guess the only thing I can think of is to engage in a slower build up so I’m not as physically aroused for as long. Or even to take efforts to make sexual play less pleasurable with things like chastity and denial tasks. I guess I was wondering if anybody here has any advice for avoiding pain and discomfort while engaging in orgasm denial and control.

I know some kinks don’t mesh with the limitations of some bodies and I shouldn’t be writing checks that my body can’t cash, but a part of me is holding on to hope that I can make it work. Any help would really be appreciated.