So my boyfriend of four years and I had recently decided that sleeping with other people might be ok every once and while. We still felt super weird about it, but anyway, I decided to go and have fun (unlike me) with my trashy friend who'd I'd recently got back into contact with. It's a whole thing, but basically when I was 18 I blew her brother and then became obsessed with him. He was the first guy that I'd messed around with, and we managed to sneak away a few times after that. He was a two years older and a bit wild and wanted to sleep around. This of course broke my heart.

Anyway, years later, I'm in a great relationship with my current boyfriend but go to this pool party with my friend. I had mostly avoided my ex because it was awkward, but I still found him super attractive. When I agreed to go to the party, I'd never imagine anything would happen, but alas.

I dressed like a little hoe, which I never, ever did. I was super keen to have fun and stuff after being a respectable, high performing little asian girl for so long. After one drink I get smashed and super horny, so I sort of knew what I was doing, but was sure I wouldn't. I'd only done one thing with a guy since my bf and I had decided we could do stuff with other people. My ex would be a totally different thing though, because he knew so many of my school friends and stuff.

When I first saw him I actually got so dizzy. Even though I'd occasionally looked him up online, I couldn't believe how muscly he was. Objectively he isn't the most handsome guy, but he has something that makes me wild. When I was young, I'd fantasized about running away with him and having his blond babies.

It was kind of awkward when we first spoke. We hadn't had contact for so long, so we were just talking about our lives and stuff. Even though I spoke about my boyfriend and whatever, there was still a super strong flirty vibe no matter what I did. He was so confident and stuff. He ended up talking me up for so long, and I couldn't help but go along with it. He kept on feeding me drinks, and I kept on drinking. We swam, and got super touchy. At some point I half accidentally grabbed onto his arm muscle, and he half held me and gave a look which I couldn't help but go crazy for.

We went to 'have a shower' and found a poor person's bedroom. He locked the door and I was totally frozen and felt so many different emotions of guilt and being so crazy for him. He fully grabbed me and I felt his dick. Without thinking I remember just rubbing it and just that made me feel like I was in heaven. We fell onto the bed and I was begging him to fuck me. He absolutely rearranged my insides and fucked me like an animal. His muscles were so engaged and it was the hottest thing ever. We hadn't even talked about it, but he came inside of me. I still remember how pleased he was with himself. He teased me for missing his dick so much that I'd cheated on my boyfriend. I never told him that my boyfriend and I had sort of agreed it was kind of ok.

We just lay there for ages and held me until we had to go back to the party. I felt embarrassed in such an indescribable way. My friend/his sister couldn't believe how much of a slut I was. Anyway, I've been sleeping with him on and off for a year now.