So there was a time I was a bit sluttier than I am behaving right now (though, I mean, my private parts are on Reddit now and weren't then, so who knows how that compares).

I was using Craiglist and PoF to try and find true love.

Instead, this one time, I answered to a message by a guy without a photo, who wanted to hang out in his car. I joked about chivalry being dead and longing for the good old days, when guys would bring girls flowers before picking them up for a date.

He said he'd bring flowers if I gave him a handjob. And I REALLY like flowers. So we were going to meet up later that day. All I knew about him was that he wasn't too much older than my 17, and where his car would be parked.

It was 5 pm on a summer day, so still full daylight. I got into the car, and was kind of excited to be such a slut, but he really, REALLY wasn't my type. We drove 2 minutes away from my place into a small residential alley, where he whipped out his cock.

It did neither look good, nor smell good. But a deal's a deal, so I started jacking him off. And I thought I might as well stick out my tits for him, too.

His cock got really wet, but as much of a dick sucker I like to be, I didn't even want to touch myself after touching him, despite him begging. He wanted me to suck him really bad, but it's the only time I've ever refused.

He came all over himself in not too long. I wiped my hands on his seat.

He was expecting me to get out of the car, but I crossed my arms and said, "Where the fuck are flowers?"

"You were serious that?"

I really had been! I was broke back then and couldn't afford my own flowers!

He seemed fucking frustrated, but so was I.

Anyhow, since I was standing my ground, he got out of his car and picked me some dandelions.

I shook my head at him in disapproval and walked back home, dandelions in hand, knowing for sure chivalry was dead.