So probably my longest and healthiest relationship in my life was with my car Olivia. She didn’t care if I rode in other cars or drove someone else’s car at a party or had a work vehicle, she was always there for me when I needed her no matter what and waited patiently for me exactly where I left her when I didn’t (except when she got towed by the city but that was non-consensual. Horrible.)

Olivia was a very experienced car, I’d bought her used and she had a lot of health problems. Thankfully she had a doctor named Dan who was very dedicated to keeping her alive. But as I’m sure you know car surgery is expensive so in lieu of financial compensation I preferred an exchange of goods and services, and so whenever Olivia needed work done Dan would take me up to his apartment across from the shop and we’d barter in his bed or on the couch or right there in the kitchen table.

And for a while our trade system worked. I’m sure I was his favorite customer, his face would light up like one of those ridiculously bright headlights all the cars have now every time I walked into the shop. He was a sweetie too, he’d always talk like he was trying to upsell me, tell me things like they were having a special on oil changes or telling me I really should get my tires rotated even though he was still just gonna get the same pussy regardless. Silly goose.

I would say the best part about fucking Dan was definitely the not-pay-for-stuff part. He wasn’t an especially attractive man, there wasn’t anything to brag about in his pants, and there wasn’t much finesse to his game. He’d basically just stick it in and jackhammer me for a few minutes in silence while his gut flopped around until he had his moment and stopped. Which honestly was fine by me, if he finished before he got sweaty that was a win in my book. My goal was just to get him in and out as quickly as possible.

But it started to become problematic as Olivia’s health declined further. Convincing Dan to help poor helpless me out once or twice a year was fun and sexy even if the deed itself was iffy. But once it became a regular occurrence it felt a lot less fun and a lot more like I was whoring myself out for a midsize sedan. And to make matters worse the work I needed wasn’t just repairs anymore, there were whole big parts that needed to be ordered and replaced. Dan was happy to do the work for free and discount me and buy little stuff under the table but at a certain point someone had to pay for things. And yes that someone was me. I don’t know if you’ve ever had a fat sweaty man bust a nut in your guts then immediately walk you downstairs to a cash register and charge you two hundred dollars, but if you have not let me tell you, my yelp review of the experience is not favorable.

It came to a head when Olivia failed her emissions test (evidently if your engine light is on you just fail, it’s not really even a test, they just look at you like you’re stupid and you fail) and so I went to Dan and told him to fix her. Now I’d just seen him a few weeks before to fix the power or something and I’d really given him some of my best work. We’d fucked all over his apartment, from up against the wall in the entryway the moment we got inside to riding him on his couch to bent over the kitchen table to me spread eagle on his bed covered thigh to chin in his cum. Like, definitely a life ruining fuck. Some love-of-his-life is always going to not quite live up to that one. Poor girl. So anyway I wasn’t exactly craving more Dan and was sort of hoping he’d be still basking in the glow of that fuck, but turns it doesn’t really work that way, in fact it seemed to have the opposite effect. He had a twinkle in his eyes and a bulge in his pants as he explained my catalytic converter was full of gunk and the left side had to be completely replaced so once again I went upstairs and spread my legs open albeit less enthusiastically and allowed him to enjoy himself until I too was full of gunk. We then went back downstairs and told me it would cost $400 and I almost smacked him. He sheepishly assured me it was only for the part and even that was fraction of what it should cost. His cum was dripping down my leg as he ran my card.

So I go BACK to the emissions place and guess what? I fail again! They tell me you have to drive the car for a week after you get a repair to reset the thing or whatever. Wow okay thanks for the heads up Dan. I have half a mind at this point to just fuck one of the emissions people but they’re legit scary. They’re like the people who weren’t charismatic enough for the DMV. Something about the way they tell you to get out of the car and sit in the chair with their soulless gaze makes me feel like they get taken out back and shot if they take bribes. There wasn’t a hint of humanity let alone desire in those eyes. They might be machines. I don’t know.

But whatever I’ll just come back in a week. It’s fine. But oh. Oh oh oh. Just fucking kidding it’s not fine because three days into that week the engine light comes on again! I take it back to Dan with steam coming out of my ears and say what the fuck. He then has the audacity to look me in the face and tell me it’s catalytic converter. The same fucking thing I just paid $400 and a creampie to fix. I, once again, say what the fuck. He says it’s the right side this time. I barely restrain myself from smacking him once again and I storm out with Olivia and drive her to another mechanic. I ask what the fuck is wrong and believe it or not they say it’s the right side of the catalytic converter. I tell them I just had it replaced and he shrugs and says the left side looks brand new. Then he quotes me $1500 to fix it.

This time it’s my turn to be sheepish and I return to Dan and ask him pretty please to fix my car but I don’t have a lot of money so maybe we could work something out. He tries to play it cool but I can tell he’s relieved and we go upstairs. I’m extra giving this time. I feel a little bad for doubting him and storming out but I also understand Olivia is dying and this is probably our last barter. I tell him to sit down and I underdress for him. I give him a little lap dance as he grabs and squeezes me wherever he wants before I sink down to my knees in front of him pull out his cock and put it right into my mouth. I don’t usually blow him, he’s fixing my car not buying me one after all, but I let him have it today. I’m swallowing him completely until my face is buried in his gut and he gasps with pleasure every time I go down. I stop bobbing and just swallow while he’s all the way down my throat and I guess it’s too much for him because he makes a weird goat noise and yanks my head off his cock with noticeably shaky hands. He pulls me up onto the bed and pries my legs apart and shoves his face right into my pussy and starts furiously gobbling. Honestly he’s not bad at it and probably could have made me cum but he’s quickly done eating and decides he wants it now and hoists himself onto me as he shoves his cock into my pussy and unexpectedly shoves his tongue into my mouth as well - our first kiss, aww. He usually fucks hard and fast but I’ve awoken something in him today and he pounds me with a renewed passion I haven’t seen before. It all takes me by surprise and astoundingly I cum about three seconds after I feel his cock enter me and his lips pressed on mine. Dare I say, I’m really enjoying it? I catch myself starting to think how powerful and strong he is and how safe I feel under him before so I try to remember I’m quid pro quo fucking him to save 1100 bucks. I feel him cum and slow down and eventually stop but he doesn’t pull out and I feel his load leaking out of me around his shrinking cock and we’re still making out and I don’t even mind that he’s all sweaty and it’s getting all over me.

We get dressed mostly in silence and I hate that I sort of want to kiss him again and I hate that I just had a romantic ass fuck with my fat ugly mechanic. I get this weird anxiety that he wouldn’t charge me the last $400 and how sweet of a gesture that would be and what my reaction would be but we get to the register and he definitely does still charge me the money so that sobers me up from my weird love haze and I stuff those feelings down. Yikes what is happening to me. I drive off with Olivia for the last time.

So I needed a new car like ASAP and WOW turns out cars are crazy expensive. Like, I swear they weren’t like that a few years ago. I legitimately considered just keeping Olivia and getting clapped by Dan twice a week forever but not even two weeks later some weird stuff started happening with the heat AND I noticed a metal thing was hanging off the bottom of the car AND a rock hit my windshield on the highway and made a crack so I decided I just needed to bite the bullet and get a new car. RIP Olivia.

After some consultations with friends I decided on a Cyber Truck. Just fucking kidding. It’s insane to me that people are actually buying those things. Not too long ago some guy was flirting with me and he was bragging that he had one and legitimately that might be the only time in my entire life I’ve thought “I’m definitely not going to fuck this man”. No no. I settled on another mid-sized sedan even though I kind of wanted an SUV but I’ve spent too much time shitting on people for buying unnecessary SUVs in the city that I just couldn’t do it even though I kind of wanted one (what if I have to drive a kayak somewhere for some reason?!).

So I go to the dealership and I meet a salesman named Clancy. (I actually first met some woman but I had to shake her because, you know. Sorry. The patriarchy wins again.) And I kind of had this vision that it was going to be like in the movies where he shows me like 15 different cars and tries to sell me on the expensive one and we haggle and I bat my eyes and he cuts the price in half. But actually he just asked me which car I wanted and I told him so he took me over to it and there was a sheet in the window with the price on it and I asked how much it cost and he basically just pointed to the sheet. I asked if there was anyway to make it cheaper and he looked at me with zero percent sexual intrigue and 100% like I was wasting his time and said “like what?” I realized I was failing. In my best sexy baby voice I asked if we could discuss it in his office. Like a brick wall he said “why?”. My confidence was completely shattered and I felt like a fool. I said in a fluster I needed to think about it and as I was turning to leave he handed me his card and with a completely straight face said we could discuss it over drinks if I was too busy during the workday.

I meet him at a steakhouse bar looking like I came out of the Matrix. I’m in leather; boots, skirt, jacket, fishnets, all that. I’m still not 100% sure we’re on the same page so I didn’t want to take any chances. But as I walk in Clancy immediately gives me the most stereotypical sleazy car salesman smile that simultaneously makes my skin crawl and also unfortunately turns me on. Like a little fishy that wants to get eaten up by the shark. He’s immediately a different guy than he was at the dealership. He wastes no time buying me a drink and putting an arm around my lower back that quickly finds it’s way to my ass and thighs, and makes no attempt to hide his wedding ring. I slam my double tequila as he tells me a bunch of information that doesn’t matter to me at all, that there’s this one slightly used vehicle but somebody did something and he could give me a new one at that price if I’d asked first. For sure okay whatever. He finally gets to the bottom line which is that he could cut 5k off the sticker price and maybe we should work the details out in his car. Great, that’s the kind of negotiation I’m dressed for.

We go out to the parking lot and get in his unnecessary SUV (or maybe he kayaks idk). Without a word he undoes his belt, unzips, pulls his cock out. I lean across the seat and into my mouth it goes. He’s a talker. He keeps a steady stream of “oh yeah”s and “you like that cock don’t you?”s and “yeah that’s a good girl”s coming that I respond to with half hearted “mmhmmm”s and “mmmm”s. At a certain point he grabs my hair and pushes me down and soon has taken full control of my head and effectively masturbates himself with my face. I focus on capitalistic gain and trying not to gag. He asks me if I’m ready and I go “mmhmmm” and then he asks me about nine times and just as I start to suspect that he is in fact the one who is not ready I feel an eruption of goopy cum spilling into my throat that I promptly swallow. He lets go of me and I sit back up and wipe the mess from my face with my arm.

I assumed we were done but then he started up the car and I felt a little jolt of panic. It must have shown on my face because he smirked and asked if I had thought that was it. I reached for the handle and opened the door half expecting him to stop me. He chortled and told me if I wanted to leave I could leave but that if I wanted five grand off a car it was going to take a lot more than a blowjob. A slight hit to my self esteem but I guess I follow that logic. I ask him what he wants and he says all I have to do it spend the night with him. That does seem like a tall order for a little money off a car, but luckily it also sounds reckless, irresponsible, foreboding, dangerous, all of which kind of get me going so I agree and we drive off.

I was about 75% sure he was going to drive me off into the woods and murder me with an axe but instead he drove us about 5 or 10 minutes away to a garage in a shockingly nice area (I did not see a kayak anywhere in the garage). When the door closed behind us he pulled his cock out again and pushed my head down into it again and I obediently sucked but he stopped me after a few seconds and got out of the car. I followed but he quickly pushed me to my knees on the concrete floor and once again stuffed his cock into my mouth for maybe 30 seconds before he pulled me to my feet and pushed me over the front of his still-warm car like I was under arrest. It was clear we were playing by his rules. He lifted my skirt matter-of-factly and grabbed my ass and gave it a little smack. He pulled my underwear to the side, spread my ass apart, gently toyed my pussy with his finger and finally pushed into me ever so slightly. “Very nice” he said under his breath. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the general view or how wet his little examination had made me.

Satisfied with his search, he dropped my skirt and once again pushed my face down to his cock which I instinctively slurped up for a moment before he quickly pulled me to my feet yet again. He told me not to let the neighbors see me and to touch absolutely nothing inside. I agreed and he lead me through a very nice backyard past the back door and down a set of stairs to a basement door. The house was very nice, lots of floor to ceiling windows. There was a beautiful a beautiful raised porch and a large kitchen visible through the back door. I wondered if his wife was home.

He took me through the door into his basement man-cave. A wrap around couch in front of a massive TV took up most of the room. It was all very clean and modern. A tiny part of me was hoping for a depraved sex dungeon but alas it was not. He lead me over to a bar in the corner and told me to undress so I carefully took off all my leather while he made us drinks and watched me then we sat on the couch, him still clothed. He turned on some music and we drank our drinks and made some very forced small-talk while he admired my body and soon he took his dick out again and I sucked him some more. Soon he patted my ass like a horse and I understood what he wanted. I got up and positioned myself to sit on him and as I did he pushed his cock right up against my pussy without so much as a mention of a condom. He exhaled with joy as I lowered myself and he slid inside me, and redoubled his mumble praises that I’d given up responding to. He quickly got rough with me, an ironclad grip on my tits and ass, taking full control moving me up and down like what he’d done with my head in the car. I have to say, I quite enjoyed it. At some point he flipped me into doggie style before suddenly stopping and telling me I felt too good and he needed a break.

He fixed us more drinks then lead me through the house, which was absolutely gorgeous. Maybe I’m underestimating car salesmen’s income but something didn’t add up. It was something I’d expect from a successful man in finance. There were huge windows and floating stairs on every floor. Above the main floor there was not only a second floor but a third as well with a rooftop balcony and a breathtaking view of the city. Of course he fucked me up there and every room in between and even in a massive tile and glass shower. I was hoping to see the master bedroom but he concluded our tour in a minimally furnished guest room where he laid me out on my back and finally allowed himself to douse me in his cum. He pulled me over to blow him again after he came but it was just a little cooldown as he deflated. Then he told me it was time to go and called me an Uber as we went and collected my clothes. It was barely 1am and I was very intrigued by his whole situation and told him I’d come back and finish the night some other time but he just chuckled and I felt self conscious that that was a pathetic thing to say.

I went in the next day to get the car and part of me was a little worried he would totally blow me off but he was true to his word and gave me the discount. However my dumb ass has never bought a new car before and didn’t realize the interest was annual! So in the end if I pay it off over five years how I’m supposed to it’ll still cost me, like, way way more than the sticker price, discount or not. So really the lesson here is to just get a sugar daddy and let him buy you the car outright. Because no matter what if you drive a car you’re just getting fucked over and over again! Thanks for reading! (I know we had a lot of tense changes, I did consider going through and making it consistent but… ehhhh lol) <3