back then, before even entering college/university, i’ve always romanticized of the peers and friends i’d be able to make. doesn’t even have to be a big circle, as long as i had friends and someone to talk to and also hangout with.

last year which was my freshman year, yes i did have friends. trio pa nga kami nun e. but unfortunately that didn’t last long. and so i spent the rest of my freshman year just being all alone. but at least diba, control ko na oras ko nun.

but moving forward, i recently relocated here sa province cuz personal issues and parents wanted me to move here for the better and naaawa na rin kasi sila sa situation ko whenever i would make kwento regarding school. and my environment in manila was quite toxic sa tingin nila. i think so too.

now in my current situation, 2nd year na ako but as an irregular-transferee. catholic institution pa. everything was going quite well again but after a month and a half, i know it sounds cliche but yes, ppl slowly started to show their true colors. parang mas worse pa to kesa nung nag aral pa ako sa maynila.

the “friends” i made in this university i transferred to weren’t who i thought they’d be. maganda yung sinimulan but as time and days went by, they’re talking shit about me. not even backstab tbh. but a frontstab rather, lol. wala naman akong ginagawang masama nor do i have anything against them, pero sila lang itong may kusang at biglaan nalang naninira.

upon this week of having our laboratory din, i kept hearing side comments about me and also experienced some bullying along the way. sobrang sakit for me maybe cuz i wasn’t expecting this is the kind of environment i’ll be encountering upon transferring. kunwari hindi ko nalang narinig mga pinagsasabi nila, but it was so hard to not cry in between and so i was just holding my tears in.

if you’ll ask me, maybe it should’ve been better that i just continued studying in manila than to transfer if this is the kind of welcoming and treatment i’ll be getting from time to time. i’d rather just sit all alone and have lunch by myself than having to deal with fake so called friends and schoolmates around me.