This one is to all the girls who work full time jobs and also as dancers - how did you find/build your community? Do you ever notice that you try to seek community in the clubs you work at? If so, has this gone well?

I work a 9-5 where coworkers are friendly but not really your friends because of the competitive nature of the job. I don't have much free time between the two jobs and my pets/working out/chores/self care. I've made friends at my club but these friendships aren't exactly the soul nurturing/meaningful connections I'd prefer to have. They have been interesting and I'd like to get your opinion on a few scenarios to see if you relate.

Names have been changed to protect anonymity lol!

1. Stella approached me a few times because she noticed I kept booking rooms. She pointed this out lol and said we should try to do them together. She invited me to her place for dinner and to meet her sister (another industry girly). I felt a strong bond with both girls because we have similar nationalities/cultural upbringings. We did share some similar trauma bonds too. Stella is more hardcore in the industry than me. She's worked longer in it and has never had a career job. She's been in school and working at the club. For her, the club was a means of survival because her parents couldn't support her or her sister. Stella also has sugar daddies and dates men from the club. She's best friends with a raging alcoholic from the club as well who I cannot stand. I went to a few parties at Stella's and noticed her family drinks a lot. It didn't bother me until I noticed it's what their gatherings revolve around and I felt pressured at times. When I tried to coordinate outings that didn't involve drinking, the sisters seemed for it but never really followed through. I mostly only see Stella now at work and our outside the club outings have dwindled even though she keeps bringing it up to me when she sees me. I am tired of initiating plans that don't pan out.

2. Ella and I met naturally because our lockers were side by side. Ella kept trying to give me survival life advice unsolicited lol. We'd have pleasant/funny conversations but a lot of them revolved are her and her life/dating problems. I'd listen and give advice (as asked). The moment I asked for advice, I got the snarkiest rudest reply, which basically shut me off from asking any more advice from her ever again lol. She kept saying things like one day she'd write a book and give me a copy LOL. I was floored by the condescending attitude coming from a girl who cannot support herself and lives with her family. I've also noticed she definitely has an ED and she tries to promote thinness in an unhealthy way.

3. Wella and I met randomly by bumping into each other repeatedly and then going into rooms together. She asked me to hang out properly lol. She didn't have any ulterior motives other than to just get to know me. When we first hung out, we shared our stories being in the industry. Unfortunately, a lot of them revolved around dealing with very bad friends and borderline dangerous situations those friends put us in. She helped me realize that this industry attracts/has a lot of traumatized people in it who aren't well adjusted humans. She brought me a lot of perspective but she was also honest that she's a guarded person and she's been very hot/cold with me. She explained it's because she's got PTSD from friends within this industry, so our friendship hasn't really blossomed because of this block.

4. Jella and I hit it off because we speak the same second language. We laugh and motivate each other every time we work a shift together. We help each other make money. I am truly grateful for her but we have not yet taken our friendship outside the confines of the club. She's got a family and I have pet children and a second job.

5. Snella and I met through her toxic sisters. Snella is an amazing person but a bit unreliable. She's got a kid too and unfortunately some addictions. I love her as a person but because of her addictions it makes maintaining a healthy, blooming friendship with her very hard so I keep our interactions inside the club only.

6. The others haven't been significant enough to write about.

Much love xo