my coworkers/friend tried to validate me and reassure me

they told me I looked great on stage, it’s not my fault, these customers are the worst, the crowd sucks tonight, blah blah blah…

(which was really sweet, btw)

I’m trying not to take it personally

but when I don’t get tipped, after doing all that, i feel like i wasted my time.

i just feel so ashamed.

and i feel like i am really degrading myself.

it’s such a horrible feeling.

and i feel like it’s been happening A LOT, as of lately.

a lot of the guests at our club are non-tippers.

sometimes i will go walk to the back because I feel disgusted with myself and embarrassed.

In a lot of strippers’ advice videos, they always talk about how when you’re coming down from the stage, is the best time to ask for a dance because you’re fresh in peoples’ minds.

but it’s just absolutely humiliating and embarrassing to me, and it’s hard to come back from that.

it makes me really sad, and it makes me question if I’m ugly…

or why am I even here?

i literally walked off, i was so disappointed/insulted. it was hard to pretend to be cheerful after that. i was so angry that all of the people in that room really just got a free show.

to me, it feels like hazing.