I’m sorry if this is all over the place I don’t k ow where to start because I’m just angry as hell because idk why I am expecting it to be good money the weekend of my bday but it isn’t. Where I’m at it’s all regulars who have there “thing” or late night losers who could be a hit or miss. I don’t have the travel money saved up to stay late so I take a ride early and tonight I made the dumb mistake of coming in when I knew my vibe was off… I just am in such a rush to make money and I been doing what I can to hustle sometimes I get overstimulated, sometimes I weirdly ball up or Suddenly just can’t take another rejection. I know all that is part of the process but some nights I feel hopeless, shitty, like my body or what I’m offering isn’t enough. Other night so get so lucky I almost feel guilty because it feels like robbery without a gun. When I first came in the DJ asked me to get on stage so I did and not a single customer was ina nd I mean NOT A SINGLE MAN. At almost 9pm!! Then later I asked if I could go on one last time before heading g out and the security stopped the DJ and asked to rotate someone else… that shit hurt. I don’t ask to go on stage often and everytime I’m there at night that particular manager/security tells them not to put me on… I don’t an to make the stage now y too!! Like am I being greedy because I do like to at the very fucking least go home with some cash?? Sometimes when I’m up there customers also ask the servers to take me for adance immedatly after so idk what how problem is but tonight will be the last night I also ever try the “it’s my bday” card cus I got laughed in the face by a crusty and tonight I just left in a huff but politely said goodbye to my favorites 🫠