I have been wearing my natural hair out for a few months. (I’m mixed/black, my hair is very kinky/curly & textured…)

I noticed I am being treated a lot differently. Sometimes I feel as though I am not treated as well by management and other dancers, and sometimes I feel like guys don’t take me as seriously. Maybe I’m also feeling a little bit insecure because my club just hired a bunch of new girls, and I can feel them judging me & evaluating me, if that makes sense. (Which should not matter, because they do not pay my bills, but still.) You are constantly being compared to other women all the time & objectified…

This is a huge change from the 30” long weaves that I was wearing, before, year-round. It’s been an adjustment.

I had to stop getting weaves, to give my real hair a break. And also, because I couldn’t afford it anymore.

Also, it used to take me SOO LONG to straighten or curl all those 30-inch bundles… and I would frequently burn myself with curling iron. I still have a permanent scar there, from the burns.

The benefit to me having the sew-in weaves, was, obviously the super glamorous bombshell look/aesthetic. The hair had really pretty movement/flow. It was soft & silky to the touch… I’m sure it looked spectacular under club stage slighting… And it was a DRY STYLE, meaning, I didn’t have to spray or scrunch or keep-rewetting my hair. And also, you can brush the hair dry (which you are unable to do with “my type” of curly hair).

I am not ignorant to the fact that I was probably getting treated better because I could pass for other races/it made me kind of foreign/exotic looking. No thanks to all the racism & colorism going on in these GC’s…

I just don’t know how I am feeling about this “natural” look that I am currently rocking…

I really like being more on the natural side. My nails are starting to grow back and recover finally… My hair & scalp are recovering… My hair is a lot thinner now. And I’m very insecure about it.

But there is something so freeing about dancing while natural. You don’t have to worry about a wig potentially coming off, or concealing any tracks with the hair extensions… it’s just a very fresh and natural aesthetic. It’s “the real me.” These are the actual features that I was born with. I believe all women have some inherent beauty.

It’s just hard because I work in a predominantly Caucasian/white/Latina/Hispanic gentlemen’s club, and my big curly hair makes me stand out, as it’s not the norm.

It’s also hard to tame my hair throughout the night, but I try my best… It is definitely a struggle though.

But the weave hair used to start to smell really bad after awhile, I guess from applying constant heat to it, over time… so I definitely don’t miss that. And anyone who’s ever had a sew-in before knows, just how uncomfortable weaves are to wear 24/7, let alone sleep in them. It feels like hell, for your scalp. It really does feel just abysmal.

It looked amazing when I went upside-down on the pole though. I looked like Rapunzel or something. But I have been told the super glam look can actually be a little “intimidating” to guys, and some men prefer a more “girl-next-door” look, apparently.

It was also getting really, really damaging, I mean, really bad. I’m talking specifically about all that excessive damage from blending my real hair with the leave-out… by frying it with the flat-iron, almost every day. So, now I am not straightening my hair at all. Which is better for it. There is all-over breakage and damage and thinning, and there is more concentrated breakage and damage around the section of hair where the leave-out was…

I feel like strippers are known for having a certain “look,” you know, this FAKE aesthetic with super exaggerated features, and I’m sure it helped my confidence and helped me to attract clients, but my health comes first. And I just really feel like I need to go natural for awhile…