⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING:

I don’t even know if I want to put this out there because I don’t want to jinx it by putting bad energy out there, you know?

Do you get anxiety before going in to work? Or just in general?

PERSONAL: I’m in a dark place… This week has been hell for me. The whole ordeal with my sugar daddy, we just broke up, he cut me off, etc., all that drama is really taking its toll on me. He said some completely heinous things to me & it really had an effect on me. He cancelled my hair appointment at the last minute and it just kind of sucks because that was supposed to be my birthday gift, my birthday is coming up in 7 days. It was a huge ordeal, back-and-forth, for days. We also had several fights because he was giving me a hard time about some files from a photo shoot he did of me, and he was making it so difficult for me to get the files. I HATE IT WHEN GUYS DO THIS. He played games with the money, for sexual acts that I did, he tried to gaslight me and all sorts of cruel vile things that he said… I don’t even want to get into it, it’s so emotionally painful. We had multiple arguments about things & he called me horrible names & he also said some things that were very evil & personal relating to an assault I was the victim of a long time ago and that was just too much & sent me over the edge…

The timing is awful. But I know I need to try to push those negative thoughts out of my mind. And I know I will be happier without him in my life anymore. Right now, it’s still so fresh, it’s a big adjustment, and I just don’t see how I can ever mentally recover from this…

But all that aside — the anxiety issue is still something I struggle with in general.

My agoraphobia has been really bad lately and I always just tend to self-isolate when I get overly stressed and depressed… Some days I rarely leave the house, sadly.

I am actually packing & getting ready for work as we speak, but for some reason something is just making me feel …immobilized/stuck. I’m trying to be strong.

Part of it is laziness. Not gonna lie. But I also feel very nervous and insecure, fear of the unknown… stress… anxiety & dread, self doubt, self esteem is vulnerable right now…

(Also, let’s be real, being in dire straits finally doesn’t help.)

I’ve been doing this job for years, I know I got this. But some days are really a struggle.

Has anything helped you when you are feeling this way? Do you do anything for self care or self-talk? Or do you just do the whole radically-force-yourself-to-get-up-and-go-to-work thing?

What do you guys do for money when you don’t want to go to the club? Do you guys have a 9-to-5? Webcam? OnlyFans? Are you in school?

I don’t make enough money stripping, so I need to come up with something else.

Any & all answers greatly appreciated…

😔😓🥺

🫂