sometimes it can be hard to go in to work my night shifts if i am going thru something

examples of some of the reasons why, it can be hard to motivate oneself to go in the club:

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anxiety, depression, PTSD, grief, emotional pain, mental disorders, su*cdal ideation, overthinking, fear of the unknown, low motivation, negative spiral, body dysmorphia and body checking, weight changes & fluctuations, imposter syndrome, “deep inner child work,” agoraphobia, self-isolation, manic-depressive episodes, stress (financial stress, housing stress, etc.), increased paranoia and defaulting to being a homebody, getting over a sickness or injury…

healing & recovering from trauma

too many bad nights (slow nights, low income nights, incidents, etc.)

feeling alone in the world, no “support system”

dealing with the rejection all the time…

(I am a mixed black woman, so I also deal with racism some times, working in a gentlemen’s club).

bullying (from clients/customers, staff, or other dancers)

SA … stalking, following, harassment… people pushing boundaries, violating you, or degrading you, etc…

The repetition can be draining…

having to “get into character”

substances…

lot of girls on shift/lot of new girls just hired … more competition… a lot of females to compete with on a night shift

living in an unstable world, unstable political climate, economic uncertainty & hardship… etc.

Life changes… feeling like you’re aging out of the industry… spiritual changes, self-reflection, EGO DEATH

low self-esteem

or are those just “excuses”/laziness? 🤔

it just sucks bc I know I’m pretty, I know I am an amazing dancer/entertainer/I know I am capable of more than this.

And I know I deserve a better quality of life than this.

😔

It also sucks staying home, not doing anything productive, knowing other females are in there making money & you’re not

Ugh, why do I self-sabotage!! 🤬

I also think it’s important to differentiate certain terms. “Depression” & “grief” are not the same as “burnout” (we need to be careful what word choice we’re using to describe these things). Sometimes it’s more than just “laziness,” or even “burnout,” at a certain point… Sometimes there’s deeper issues going on (like in my case)…

I also find that the longer I am away, the harder it is to go back.

I recently went on a vacation but the vacation was more chaotic and stressful than it was rejuvenating, unfortunately, so I actually felt worse off when I got back… but that’s a separate story. Don’t have time to get into it here (I do discuss how I got sick in this trip, in one of my recent videos. Head on over on my YouTube channel: YouTube.com/@summerchase420)

Basically, when your funds are low, & you know you really need to go in to work, but your brain is psyching yourself out… you know… letting fear & anxiety get the best of me in some cases. You know, just struggling mentally & emotionally, adulting, managing life. Not to make this a pity party, but like… I am NOT well adjusted. I’ve seen too much; I’ve been through too much.

I’M INTROVERTED. I am a really sensitive person (in case you couldn’t tell), so stuff REALLY AFFECTS ME. I’m lowkey in real life. I transform into a rockstar on the pole, I’m charismatic in conversations, I flirt with guys… I don’t really act like that in real life, I keep to myself. I feel like it’s more of a persona that I have to conjure up from somewhere inside of me, in order to make my money. In real life, I am very isolated and I don’t really open up to people I don’t know easily. At work, I act like… kinda fearless… like, this porn star or this live action sexy character or something. It feels weird and unnatural sometimes. I like to sit in my room and do quiet activities alone. Working as a stripper, in a nightclub, was NEVER something I imagined doing. But I got really good at it. And it’s super addicting.

I hate giving private dances. It’s creepy. It’s super uncomfortable. But I feel so happy getting attention on stage. I wish the job was just doing that. I feel like I would thrive. ☹️

Sorry, this post got kind of dark!!

But I had to get it off my chest, since it’s been weighing on me heavily as of lately…

Is this relatable to you guys?

I would love to hear the opinions of fellow industry girls, in similar situations perhaps…

Stay strong everyone. Take care of yourselves. 🫂🙏🏽

TL;DR I have a lot of personal issues. And while they’re not all related to the job of stripping, stripping definitely makes it worse. Just having a hard time coping and needed to vent I guess. 😔😢🥺