Situation: Men physically moving your body to put you in positions they want/men trying to control the dance/men telling you to “can you sit on my lap already!” Responses: “I’m not comfortable doing that. If you’d like to sit down & relax, we can go back to having our fun.” “That is not how dances work and I’m not comfortable doing that. I know you want to enjoy your time, I promise I’ll take care of you.” “Can I give you the kind of dance that I like to give?” “I am more comfortable and feel more safe when I am in control of the dance. Sit back, relax, and I promise that you will enjoy yourself.” “I promise if you sit back, relax, and let ME take care of you, we will have a much more enjoyable time.” “If you want your dance to get hotter, you should leave a hotter tip.”

Situation: customer asks you to sit on their lap Response: “I will get there eventually cutie. I like to take my time and tease you, it’s what makes dances more fun for you, the receiver.”

Situation: customers hands getting too close to an area you don’t want them to touch Responses: “your hands are getting too close. keep them away from that area or I’ll make you sit on them like the bad boy you are!” “your hands are getting too close to my xyz and it’s making me uncomfortable. I don’t want to have to stop the dance, I want us to have fun together but I need to feel comfortable for that to happen.” “I don’t like how close your hands are getting. It’s making me nervous. Why don’t you touch here instead?” “You seem like you care about being a respectful guy so I just wanted to let you know that xyz makes me uncomfortable.” “that’s too close!” move their hands away

Situation: customer fondling nipples in a way that doesn’t feel good/spanking too hard/pulling hair/etc Responses: “Stop, that tickles.” “I prefer for my nipples to be pinched, lightly” Interlock their hands with yours and pin them down, move their hands somewhere else, … “Ow, I’m gentle!” “Gentle!” “I only let people do that/touch me like that/spank me like that if they leave an extra tip.” “I don’t like that” “Darling you have to leave more tips/an extra tip if you want to be allowed to do that.” “This is how I like to be touched.” “I don’t like when you touch me like that. Can you (xyz) instead?”

Situation: annoying ass kisses on the neck, cheek, arms, anywhere Responses: “I’m sure those are innocent kisses but I could get in trouble for letting you do that so you have to stop.” “I don’t like anyone’s mouth on me. no kisses please.” “Don’t kiss my neck.” “I’m glad you’re having so much fun like I am but just remember that your mouth is not allowed on me anywhere, even if it’s just small kisses like that.”

Situation: touching your face Responses: “don’t touch my face, you’ll ruin my makeup!” “don’t touch my face, it’s bad for the skin!”

Situation: cumming in a dance Responses: get up immediately. you don’t want to sit in cum and this is potentially a health risk. “that’s not cool, I’m sitting on your cum with my bare vagina. you can spread things that way. you should have let me know because now you’ve put me at risk. I have to end the dance.”

Situation: has a fetish and wants you to do it for a low tip/is just a low tipper Response: “the hotter your tip, the hotter my dance” “$x is a good tip” “I’m going to need to see more money” “I only let that happen/allow that if you leave a bigger tip.” “That costs extra.” “I don’t do that for just/only $xx. You need to tip more. At least $x.”

Situation: asking for your time outside of the club/asking for extras/etc Response: just say “no.” that’s all you say. no explanation, no extra words, literally one word; “no.” anytime they ask that’s the only word you have to say. if they ask again, say “no.” don’t lead them on. say “no” over and over again. “I am not comfortable with that. I stay inside the club.” You can be nice and say something like “I really am flattered but I’m just not comfortable with that.”

Situation: customers touching you on the floor Responses: “you can only touch in VIP” “I only let you touch in the private room” “No tip, no touch” “You know you’re not supposed to do that, right?” If a customer has gone up to you and slapped your ass and walked away, or slapped your ass while you’re walking past, that is casual sexual assault, tell security! Point out who it was to security and ask them to tell the customer they’re not allowed to go around slapping the dancers asses.

General: no, stop that, I don’t like that, that makes me uncomfortable, I’m not comfortable with that

Other takeaways:

• consistently reflect on what your boundaries are and how to assert them. if you notice you’re not liking what someone is doing in a dance, it is vital to tell them. if you don’t say anything in a moment where someone is doing something to you that you don’t like, you will leave the situation potentially feeling violated and regretting letting it have happened. trust me, it’s better to make the customer feel awkward and kill the mood then to leave a situation feeling like your body isn’t yours and out of touch with your body. write down a list of every single thing, big or small, that customers do that you don’t like, and ways you can respond in these situations or actions you can take to make sure your boundaries aren’t violated. ex: having the customer sit on their hands the entire dance after they’ve made you uncomfortable, telling them to stop or you’ll end the dance, etc.
• it’s easy to get annoyed and angry at customers when they’re doing something you don’t like. but remember that maybe the customer genuinely doesn’t have bad intentions, they just might not know that what they’re doing is wrong and is bothering you. it is your responsibility to let them know your boundaries and gently tell/remind them. don’t assume the worst of their character always. 
• preface every dance with a quick rundown of your boundaries. tell them where they can touch, and where they can’t, and tell them the consequence if they don’t adhere to the rules. tell them ANYTHING you absolutely don’t want happening, like cumming in their pants without letting you know, using their mouth, etc.”