Since beginning this work seriously a few months ago there have been significant changes in the above - some so drastic I began to question my sanity. I've recounted some here before, but for the record :

- collapsing of observer/observed

- recognition of the energy of suicide and happiness being the same (this was quite WTF)

- expansion of Awareness to include everything...I AM before thoughts, emotions etc

- loss of interest in any "pleasurable" activities (existing is enough, I don't really look for entertainment now)

- thoughts changing as they came into being, becoming light. I was initially worried I would not be able to think but I can still do so.

- loss of previously high sex drive. there's no "craving" or sense of completion behind arousal now. it's hard to describe. it's like arousal has been decoupled from desire. there's no desire for pleasure for its sake.

- all food tastes the same. as in, I can tell the tastes are different, but the difference in taste doesn't matter. it's all just vedana.

My atheist friends already think I've gone nuts about in June or so when all this started happening. I did check with some therapists but they are untrained in this arena.

From my relatively extensive reading, I realize some of these are supposed to come with the territory, though my experience doesn't fully match any of the models I've encountered. Some people like Ingram/Greenwell/Dilulo touch on it.

I just want to touch base with the community here as there are knowledgeable people here who may shed some light on what is going on. I don't actually think I am going insane, just concerned.

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