I reached a point in my practice I tried to find a "me" I couldn't find one. The sense of self had dropped away a few months before (anatta) but now I tried to look for a discrete entity. None, just sensations.

Then I looked for a mind. Only thoughts, no mind. And thoughts also are becoming superfluous - I can "think" without thoughts being formed. Impulses and sensations emerge without words.

I'm in a strange place right now which is why I am posting here to share what I'm going through. After meeting Sailor Bob it feels like the bottom has fallen out of the equation. Like I understand more directly now how there is no time besides now - when I read about it, thoughts emerged to try to construct a conceptual reality. But you can't, because it's all outside of the mind.

Recently also there is an experience of endless love and light that arose in practice, but now it's becoming constant. It's like everything is made out of it, including "bad things" (murder, arson etc) All reality is this, has always been.

I still have a complex life situation to deal with, but somehow it has become also a form of light. Thoughts, sensation, what is, the "thingness" of things become some energy flow that encompasses everything. It's hard to put into words, because it feels like it's beyond conceptual reality.

Those are the highlights, I'll stop now. :)

​