I’m looking for support and recommendations while I traverse a difficult personal event. Some background: me (45f) and partner (47m) separated this week from our marriage of 20 years. Right now it’s a temporary split to see what happens but each of us are free to be with others during this time. It was instigated by my partner. In the last few months he was using psychedelics to achieve spiritual awakening and a month or so ago achieved A&P characterized by high vibrations and feelings of love, bliss, and oneness. He has never had a consistent meditation practice or meditation focus.

I have consistently practiced vipassana for a few years now and had my last A&P in 2019. I believe I’m in the reevaluation stage. I still practice vipassana but have been practicing nondualism (abiding in being) for a while now (largely Spira). This difficult event has brought up a lot of grief and pain for me and the old abandonment wound. I sit with the feelings with compassion and am learning quite a bit from the conditioned responses that arise.

My partner is still vibrating at a high frequency and is processing old trauma and suffering. His sex drive is high. He has become more charismatic and outgoing than before. Prior to the A&P he expressed a desire to be “free” and have sex with others and unhappiness regarding feeling trapped by the long term relationship. He currently lacks focus and discipline, can be impulsive, but also has deep wisdom. I’ve supported him in this process and encouraged him to begin a consistent meditation practice.

I suppose I’m afraid that I will lose him or he will do something unwise which would complicate our potential to be reunited. Intellectually I know that whatever happens is for the best for both us and I’m having difficulty abiding in being which would help to better ground me and persevere with more equanimity and love.

Has anyone experienced this or have some advice they are willing to impart? My thanks for any insight you may provide.

May this practice benefit all beings

EDIT: Wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to respond with thoughtful and kind comments. I don't post too often on Reddit but needed to for this and I'm glad I did. I feel so much gratitude to you all for your show of concern and compassion and it helps me to see the importance of friendships and community. Invaluable. Thank you so much.