So I had another spiritual experience last night that was in tune with what I've been through before. It felt like I had passed through another gate.

What happens now is that thoughts are less "sticky". There is less of what is called "Zatsunen" in Zen. I can drop the thought-narrative at will, and I'm aware when I am thinking.

Two redditors here pointed out in a previous post that it is like the "thought-streamed being purified" and when thoughts arise, they are pertinent to the situation at hand.

I went back to read some material I've gone through before (namely the Power of Now and the AtR blog) and I can see some resonance there. The practice also becomes present in every moment, making sure body/spirit/mind are always working in tandem, every second. Surrender to being and all that.

In terms of xabir's model, I can feel luminosity, the awareness that I am not "I" (I am being lived) The "I AM" mode is becoming the default (mind still arises now and then) and mind and ego recede.

I still feel there is more to go! I'm continuing self-enquiry since it seems to work best. When I do it or say "I AM" reality sharpens around me and the self falls away. I'm aware only of consciousness, but no I.

The voices that I hear during practice seem to be telling me to go towards non-duality next.

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I wrote this post in the morning, but just a while ago (I have been able to practice during most of the day, because "I AM" is becoming default) I had more experiences. While walking across the road I suddenly felt that I am everything. I have experienced that before, it was like I was the road, the sky etc. It was a longer glimpse than I had before.

Then later in the evening as I contemplated awareness ("who is this that is seeing? only the seeing etc) there was another sense that "I" had fallen away completely. I couldn't find an "I". The "I" seemed to want to center on my body (because that's what the mind thinks is I) but when I flexed my fingers I could only sense the fingers flexing, there was no "I" flexing them. This state seems to be continuing, there are some small urges to feel "I" but they come and go (like mind above, very faint)

Not sure if this is anatta or not, there is continued expansiveness of consciousness.

I think I'm beginning to directly experience all that I have read about in non-duality, cosmic consciousness etc. It's one thing to read, another to experience!

As always, insights and comments are welcome. To those who have asked, I am trying to keep these posts to the point because my spiritual background is long and complex (22 years)

as is my IRL situation. I'm happy to explain, but don't wish to clog the sub (I already post a lot!)