In all my straight relationships as the man I feel like I could never be the passive one in the relationship, it’s so frustrating and I really want to explore that side of me. I really love that feeling but as a big and tall man people naturally defer to a dominant role for me. I want to be cared for and swept off my feet and held and caressed and kissed. I want to be the one getting butterflies seeing my man care for me in thoughtful ways. I want to be comforted by his warm masculinity. Be his little spoon. Sit in his lap, have him dote on me. Even in online conversations, I never feel like a man just takes the lead and knows what to say, it’s so frustrating, I don’t know if the one for me is even out there anymore.