Ok, so I moved to another country for college 4 years ago. Back home in high school I was popular and respected, and I liked it, but I wanted more, not just staying in the same city my entire life. When I got here I knew things where gonna be different and that it would be a challenge, but that was exciting. 4 and a half years in now and I haven't made long lasting friends, it seems like I jump between groups, or people that I like leave. On top of that I'm currently taking a "gap year" (I'm working) to explore my options and see where I'll do my masters (I won't be staying here). Most of my friends right now are either college students, which I never felt were that close to me anyways but I do have some good laughs with them; and people that works, these are only my friends whenever I'm out. I kinda miss that closeness with my friends back home and I feel like I've failed. I was so used to people noticing me that, it feels bad no to be. I've blamed the people in this town (who seem more interested in small talk than having an actual conversation), myself for changing so much in these past 4 years (Let's say it wasn't a smooth transition and I did change drastically the first year); the language barrier (at the same time whenever I meet people who speak my language I feel like I can't engage in anything interesting with them, it's better than the small talk, but it's still not it.

I don't know if this is growing up or just a bump in the road and this place wasn't for me. I know I won't give up, but it's been so long since I last liked a girl or had actual friends. I'm happy with how I've learned to be alone and be happy with myself, but I know I prefer having people to talk to.

Anybody experienced something similar?