Claudia was the first student to ever make an impact on me. You see I was the rookie teacher and she was the 7th grade tough girl. Built like a wall locker and a generational gang member with all the traditional gang tattoos. Her mother had abandoned her and she was being raised by her older brother, a high ranking officer in one of the local criminal organizations. Held back at least one grade she was older and bigger than almost everyone else in her grade level. It was easy to see on her face that by the time she ended up in my class she was already labeled the baddest of the the bad kids.

Furthermore, the school administration had already put one of her feet out the door. It is funny when I think about it. I am honestly not sure why she liked me so much, maybe it was my paratrooper swagger or the fact that after coming home from Afghanistan that I genuinely wasn’t threatened by her. My colleagues and bosses always told me to watch for her and told me she was dangerous. But to me she just seemed like a kid and for that reason I always treated her as such.

My first memory of Claudia was during a primary and secondary source lesson. I brought a couple of my military medals to class as artifacts of my previous life. Most of the kids just held them for a second but Claudia actually pinned them to her shirt. I can remember seeing the fear in the other kids eyes, just waiting for me to explode on her. My first few years I was a strict disciplinarian in the classroom, again bringing my military back ground to the classroom. But when I saw Claudia just sitting there with a big goofy grin on her face I could not help but laughed and told her that she would have to earn her own one day.

It wasn’t long after that, that Claudia would just randomly end up at my classroom door. I always let her in and just gave her a seat. I figured that she was skipping or had been thrown out of class . I thought it best that at least in my room she would be safe or not causing any trouble. That went on for a while until one of the Assistant Principals put an end to it and even then it happened occasionally.

Then something really amazing started to happening. I started noticing that Claudia began to do really well in my class. She began scoring the highest marks on my exams and really out preforming her peers. I quit giving her the remedial assignments of her classmates and began giving her the GT projects. Again she just seemed to devour it and even compared to my top students she out preformed them. When report card time came around you would see on her grades a litany of F’s followed by one A . One special and well deserved A.

But that would not last, and as soon as I began to really foster her talents the day came when she was removed from the school. You see Claudia had threatened a teacher with a deadly weapon and that was the end of our time together. I think the rest of the school threw a party that day but I walked the slowest walk to the counselors office. I closed the counselors door and just cried. I sat there in that small child’s chair and just flooded her office floor with my tears. I was the embodiment of an emotional thunder storm and my screams and cries echoed the schools halls. And in return I just heard silence.

A few years later I would receive an email from her. She was on her own and living in a different state. Trying her best to leave her birth right gang life behind. However, at that point I honestly did not know what to say and as much as I wanted to tell her how much of an impact she had on me, I think the only words I could muster was “Best Wishes”. To this day I feel a sense of regret over that.

Now, its been twenty years since Claudia was in my classroom. Twenty years ! God only knows where she is at now, God only knows if she ever truly escaped the difficult web of her tough life. Yet when I look back at my lengthy time as an educator and the long list of my amazing students Claudia will always hold a special place in my heart. And while others may have mostly forgotten her or only remember her as a troubled youth. I on the other hand will always remember that goofy smile as she wore my military awards. And I pray, I pray the great teacher prayer that no matter where she is at, that she has earned her own medals. I would be very proud to wear them .