So lately I’ve been making sweet love to this Colombian girl, it’s been quite the ride since she put a carrot up her ass. Our relationship has progressed well (this is the previous story posted here https://www.reddit.com/r/stories/s/gR6etcpxKy )

So recently my penis has been quite dry, I’ve been showering a lot and it’s gotten flakey so I’ve gotten advice from redditors to apply coconut oil on it and it can be used for sex too.

So we get back from a nice walk, and she gets in and says “it’s time”, and takes off her clothes in the living room. She must be some sort of sex addict with this behaviour. I’m starting to fall in love, yet have my doubts as Ive heard a lot of Colombian escorts do come over to Australia for visas and to get married, but nonetheless that’s a problem for another day.

So I take my shorts off and she’s straight into it. So I tell her we should use coconut oil, and give it a go. It’ll have a nice aroma too, and I explain I got it today. And she says “no, no coconut, why coconut? canola better” in her Colombian accent. I’m thinking, is she serious she wants to use canola oil, the oil I use to cook (yes I know people cook with coconut oil, but I never have in my life). So I asked again, and she says “I see the bottle there” in her accent. So I grab the 750ml bottle of canola oil.. what she does next, no words.

She opens up the lid, throws it and legit starts pouring canola oil from the top of her ass and soaks herself and the front pouring it all over herself.. forgetting she’s on my couch and has turned the couch into a massive oil spill. I can’t even explain. She is not bothered one bit and grabs my cock and sits on it with her ass bouncing on it.

I am covered in canola oil, it’s everywhere. It’s somehow gotten on my face. It’s an absolute train wreck. We make sweet love, and it was great except the whole bottle of canola oil (roughly was only 3/4 full) is all over the couch. We’re done, and she tells me it’s nothing, she will clean it up, she’s done it before. This is a fabric couch that cost me $4500. There is no cleaning this up, it’s done.

I now sit here on my recliner looking at this absolute mess thinking who the hell in their right mind uses canola oil for sex? Am I the first person to use canola oil? Actually no she’s used it before she says. Honestly I have no words. She’s made me a post sex green juice which has so much celery and garlic, it actually doesnt taste good at all. I can’t drink this. After making such a mess, at least make me a nice drink.

Thank you for reading my story. I had to tell someone to get it off my chest.