This is not my first attempt at quitting by any means, but this time it feels different. My girlfriend and I both smoke(d) and before when we've tried to quit we have always done it together. The rationale being that it would be easier on each of us to know that the other wasn't smoking, and the smell and temptation wouldn't be around. But it hasn't ever worked. We would both end up craving a cigarette, and then commiserating over our anguish would inevitably lead to a relapse. I think, subconsciously, I was acquiescing only so I could relieve the pain in her eyes. I can handle my own discomfort, but seeing someone I love in such a state was too hard to bear, and I would lose my resolve.

So this time, I decided to go it on my own. And I didn't even tell her I was doing it until she figured it out herself. She continued to leave cigarettes for me, I just didn't smoke them. She still goes outside every hour or so to smoke a cig, I just don't follow her. I feel like this struggle is necessary: I need to confront my addiction head on and overcome it, not just avoid it. That way, when I'm cleaning out my car and I happen across a prestine cigarette preserved in the depths of my glove box, I can toss it with no compunction - I've handled temptations much worse already and handily beat them.

It has been very liberating knowing that my success is not inextricably tied to hers. I am doing this by myself, for myself. Only I know the pains I feel, and only I can combat them. This is my struggle: it's me against myself; we're so evenly matched I don't know who will win, but god-damnit I'm fighting.

So, now I'm on day 6 and this has been the most successful I've ever been regarding controlling my cravings, and I honestly feel like this is the time I quit for good. I can look at a pack of smokes sitting by my doorway, desperately want one, and I can mentally beat the craving.

Side Note: turns out that quitting by myself was the best way to get my girlfriend to stop too. Previously it would have required some serious convincing on my part to get us as a couple to stop together. But actions really do speak louder than words, and the best way to lead people is by example. She's now on day 2 and I'm more concerned for her than I am for myself. Please send good thoughts her way.

about me: I'm 29, almost 30 and i had my first smoke at age 12 (over 17 years ago!!!). By age 14 I was going to a boarding school with older kids and I would routinely have my own pack of cigarettes and I would sneak out of the dorms every night to smoke. I've quit before - once for almost a year - but this is the first time that I have changed NOTHING about my life besides the fact that I smoke cigarettes. Keep those triggers and temptations coming - they only make me stronger.