Been clean for about 3 months and today I decided to buy a beer and a pack of newports.

I have been struggling lately and just feel hopeless. I can’t find work and just feel defeated and useless. I can’t find a job and I don’t know what to do. I’m 25 and don’t have any money and I just can’t seem it to find any hope. I’m sick ofit and just want to give up. I scrapped what little money was around and just had a smoke. It didn’t help or feel satisfying at all but I just felt like I wanted to punish myself.

I don’t know what to do man, I’m sick of feeling useless and depressed and I just keep getting older and nothing is improving in my life. I’m lost and feel useless, so why not? No matter how hard I try it just keeps getting worse. I’m being a burden to my family and they keep getting older and I want to take care of them but I can’t even take care of myself.