Hey everyone. So I've been seeing a lot of 'how do I convince _________ to stop smoking?' on this sub and I wanted to address this. I am a clinical hypnotherapist and a good amount of my work is in smoking cessation. The very first question I ask someone before I even agree to work with them is 'why do you want to quit'? If they say it because their wife wants them to or work is pressuring them, etc... I can't help. Why? Because until there is a conscious desire in someone to quit, the subconscious mind cannot change its behavior and associations.

To put that another way, when someone quits smoking it must be their choice. It does not matter the evidence you provide, the logical arguments you make or the situation at hand... until such time as the person makes that choice, they'll be a smoker. I know this is frustrating to hear because many of you either are trying to get a loved one to stop or are that loved one, but this is the truth. Pressuring those around you to cease a behavior they are not ready to give up will create resentment; that will provide yet another barrier to them making that choice.

I'll give you all a tip, though. As I'm writing this, I wanted to think of something to give everyone that could help and I'll share a little secret. The key to quitting generally isn't what you find in self help books or advice columns; it's the core of how I work with people to help them quit on a long term basis. You ready? It's simple.

Find out why they smoke.

I don't mean the reason given for lighting up, but I mean the reason they even started to begin with. Have a talk with them and don't position it as an attempt to get them to quit or anything. Just curiosity. Have them remember back to the reason they began in the first place and there is a good chance this will for a crack in the certainty of behavior. This isn't a sure thing, but it's not uncommon at all that this begins the questioning of their behavior.

So I hope this helped give some perspective. If anyone has any questions, please comment below or DM me and I'll be happy to chat with you. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.