I drank daily for about 13 years then decided to quit before I turned 40. I abstained for over two years then started having a couple beers on the weekends. That went okay until my family exploded. Wife’s problems with alcohol are different than mine and arguably more severe when compounded with her mental illness. I had to kick her out after multiple violent episodes, the last one in front of the kids. Now mid divorce. Once she was gone I felt like I had a license to drink without it being a problem for her, so I started drinking more heavily.

Fast forward a couple years and I haven’t had a night off. Hung over 4 or 5 days a week. Cracking beers the minute I get back from dropping kids off at school in the morning. Barely doing any work. Just sitting around feeling sad for myself and my family.

Months and months have gone by where I want to moderate or quit but I could never get down to less than a six pack of IPA. Over the weekend my stbx wife went off the rails and I had to retrieve my daughter from her. It reminded me that I need to be the sane parent. Monday I managed to go to bed after only one bottle of wine—the least daily consumption I’ve had in a while. Tuesday I thought I would get a couple tall boys and continue to taper but as it got past 7:00, 8:00 I decided to just take an anti anxiety med and not drink at all. I made it to bed without hitting the corner store for the first time in years.

I know I need to get on an upward spiral. I feel like the hardest part is the first night but I know I will be tempted to have a couple drinks sooner than later. I feel like last night was a miracle and I want to make the most of it.

Thanks for reading.