I have so much to do in the morning and I’ve been trying so hard to fall asleep and my brain just keeps replaying my most embarrassing drunk moments.

There’s been two times I completely humiliated myself at the VA here and I have to keep going back to that same hospital because it’s the only one in my area and every time I’m there I’m filled with shame.

I fantasize about moving to another state where I could go to a new VA where no one knows me.

Logically I know there’s a slim chance that anyone remembers me at this VA, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about it and obsessing over it. And replaying everything I did in my alcohol induced psychosis. Honestly I don’t even know if my memories are real, but I’m pretty sure most of them are.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening and IWNDWYT.