When I first stopped drinking May 1st last year, I congratulated myself on giving up alcohol during a stressful time like a pandemic quarantine. Wasn't I so brave to quit relying on my go-to drug for numbing out my anxiety during such a crazy time? As month after month went by I would occasionally miss drinking, but was never even tempted to go back. It became such a non-issue I barely even discussed it during my (virtual) weekly therapy appointments.

Now as more and more people are getting vaccinated, it seems like there might actually be - if not an end in sight - then at least a tapering off of the more extreme isolation. One thing I've realized is that a social shutdown is actually one of the EASIEST times to give up alcohol. (at least for me) I've had most of a year to get used to not drinking without any of the pressures that come with social engagements - book club with wine! neighborhood cookout with beer! extended family gatherings with whatever is in reach!

I find my anxiety beginning to ramp back up a little when thinking about having to deal with all that stuff now. A few people know I haven't been drinking, but even to that small circle, I've only said that I'm NOT drinking, not that I won't BE drinking. I haven't yet had to deal with all the defensiveness of others when they find out you're not drinking and assume you're judging them because they are. When everyone's splitting a pitcher of margaritas, except you. When you're pooped out early at a party because alcohol used to give you a burst of energy.

I know I'll deal with it. It'll be fine. Great, probably. What a weird freaking year.