Good morning beautiful people I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

I’m struggling. I can’t seem to commit to being sober again. I had 5 months! FIVE. And I was miserable so I just gave up. Well here we are again. I’m still miserable but now I don’t like myself because I feel like shit and drank way too much this week. My heart is beating faster. My anxiety is way up. And I feel like I just made the mountain I have to climb even higher. Idk man this is just hard and I’m on a pity spiral. I just wish I had my sobriety back but also wish I was better at drinking? How fucking stupid. I hate myself drunk and idk why I keep doing that. If I don’t like myself drunk but know I like myself sober, shouldnt this be an easy answer? Why is it not an easy answer?

If you have relapse stories after extended sobriety where you got your sobriety back, can you please share them? I’m so tired of day 1 which is making it hard for me to commit again. Thanks in advance.

IWNDWYT