I love these two guys. I've not drank around them many times the last couple of years as I work on sobriety, and they are always supportive and we still have a lot of fun, but today I realized something that I do which has screwed me a bunch of times.

When the plans were getting fleshed out (either going oystering or sitting around a fire pit) I got excited about having some beers with them, not about the laughs and conversation that we were sure to have.

My brain was firing up in anticipation of DRINKING, not the fun.

I had to cancel and I'm glad I did. No way tonight I was going to get through that without drinking.

I'll swing by their houses tomorrow morn to say hi, but I feel good tonight about this decision.