A week ago I had three beers with a vendor and was up all night with the shits and stomach ache.

So I decided that once again I need to NOT drink....so of course yesterday my Daughter and I take our motorcycles out to lunch and I had to have two beers.

Up all night not digesting my brisket sandwich at all, stomach aches, intrusive thoughts.

I just don't understand myself. I have worked myself over the last couple of years from drinking 8 to 10 IPA's and other booze every day down to being just fine and OK with no alcohol...struggle sometimes for sure, but it's not white knuckle times any longer.

Why can't I just be a big boy and STOP? It's not good for me. I drop people that aren't good for me like that. I drop jobs that aren't good for me like that.

There's probably something wrong with my insides if two beers are effecting me like that hours and hours later, but fuck it. I'm 52, there's lot's of shit going wrong with my body nowadays, and that one I can fix easily...or can I?