I really don’t want to discourage anyone reading this. I’m not a great representative of 3 months sober. Man I think I’m loosing it. I’m so unhappy in my relationship. He’s a perfect husband. He does everything right. I just don’t think we work anymore. And we are sad all the time. And when I leave work I’m stressed coming home. Which im not asking for advice on. I know where all that will lead. What is really the worst is coming home and being mad and watching me suck the happiness out of his night. And then having relapse dreams. And all I want is to drink. I don’t know how to stay sober when I’m so unhappy in life. I know everyone is going to stay staying sober will help me deal with the problems in front of me. Or wait for the miracle. Or I don’t know. I love the cliches. They usually help me. But man I’m just angry. And I don’t want to speak with my sponsor. I don’t want to do this. I want to want to do this. I’m just tired. And I’m trying to push through. I’m going to go hiking today. I’ve been keeping distance from family that’s triggering. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

Thanks for listening. I know I need to meditate and read a book and try and live in the moment and AH. I’ve never been a happy go lucky person. Cue in alcoholism lol

Ok that’s all. I appreciate you guys being here. I just feel at 26 years old, how is life already such a mess 😭

Ok I will absolutely not drink TODAY.