I went to rehab about 4 months ago. I learned a lot and was very excited to never have to drink again. Then on my 58th day I drank. I don't know why but I did. I was very upset to reset my time but I resolved to try again, and then made it 10 days and drank again. 32 days later I drank a third time. I'm trying not to beat myself up and just keep trying, but it is hard.

I do attend an IOP and go to AA and am working with a sponsor but I just feel like at best I'm just postponing my next relapse. The past two days have been tempting since I am home alone for 6 hours both days, ideal drinking time, but I didn't yesterday and I won't today. I just can't help but feel like it is coming eventually.

Sorry to be a downer but that is where I am at now. I'll keep working and hope these stupid cravings go away. IWNDWYT