It's day 4, and while I'm feeling great now, I'm also looking out at the days ahead and it scares the shit out of me. These last several days, while difficult, have also been under ideal circumstances, i.e. I really haven't been exposed to drinking/drinkers, and so I've been able to rely on myself to stay in self control and shielded. But that's about to change.

First, Easter is on Sunday, and nothing says "let's celebrate a holiday!" with my family like getting drunk together.

Second, I'm back at my girlfriends house next week (I'm with her when I don't have my kids), and she's a drinker. Not as bad as me, but we've definitely enabled each other in the past.

Third, I completely forgot that I agreed to go to a Beer Festival with my friends in about a week and a half. They bought their tickets already, and now I need to figure out how to handle it.

Fourth, I have a work trip coming up in about 3 weeks. We do this every 3 months. It's intense planning sessions followed by all of us meeting up at the bar after and getting wasted to relieve stress.

In the ideal world, scenarios 1, 3, and 4, would be those off occasions where, someone without a problem, could drink in moderation (or indulge slightly), and be done with it. I'm not there, and I'm not sure I can or ever will be.

As I write this it reminds me that I can't think that far in advance. I really need to stay focused on this particular day, and getting through that first. I've said this in previous posts- writing about this seems to help me. I didn't think it would, but it has. It's a purge of thoughts and feelings, and while I don't expect anyone to respond, you guys typically do. That added show of support is like the cherry on top.

I will not drink with you today