Yesterday I wrote This post. I was really struggling with staying sober and I can sincerely say that your support made a big difference for me. In full disclosure, I've been abusing anti-anxiety medicine and I felt like it was something that was able to just give me a small "fix" that allowed me resist the urge to drink but 2 days ago I went overboard (as I should have guessed) and took 15 klonopin in one day. The resulting hangover led me straight back into the same depression and meaninglessness that drives me to drink. So I think I need to give them up full stop as well, which is hard because I actually do suffer anxiety and they can help from time to time. I cancelled my only college class his semester because I just feel overwhelmed and felt like like I need to focus on nothing but staying sober. But It's gonna take me another year to transfer and I'm already well over the age of transfer students. I've started and given up on so many classes that I just feel like a fucking loser. I'm sorry to just sit here and vent but my primary reason for this post was to thank you all for supporting me yesterday when it felt impossible. Did I do anything healthy? No. I ate a bowl of cereal then slept from 4:30pm until I had to wake up this morning. But at least I didn't drink. Sometimes I feel like that's all I can do