I found out my partner cheated on me this weekend. There are a lot of complexities to this that don’t really matter but I can’t just leave. I don’t even know if I want to.

But anyways. Little over 100 days sober. I know drinking won’t fix anything. And if we do part ways being sober is the correct way to process that. But I’m really struggling to give a shit. He’s been my biggest motivation for sobriety. I know it has to come from within and all that. But I’m drowning. I’m struggling to see any point to keep trying. I know logically there are plenty. And I know I’m worth it and don’t deserve to be cheated on. I feel pathetic that he isn’t fighting harder to fix things. I feel pathetic that all I want to do is drink and cuddle up in bed with him. And I’m so tired.

Anyways I’m supposed to meet with my sponsor tonight and I really just want to sleep. I know if I relapse there may be no coming back. And the relationship will end. I just. I’ve been divorced before and thought I had it right this time. I didn’t even know anything was wrong. I wish I didn’t know. And I wish the cravings would go away.

Anyways thanks for listening. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.