Hi all. I have been sober for 493 days. I have always struggled with low self confidence and often drank to avoid those feelings, which most often arise when I’m trying to date. Last night I met up with someone for the first time since getting sober and we had what I thought was a great time, and come this morning I was blocked by him on everything.

I’m posting this because I don’t want to drink over this and I know I don’t have to. But my brain is full of negative reinforcement telling me how ugly, unlovable, and hopeless I am, as evidenced by the first guy I meet blocking me.

I don’t know what to do. I tried meditating and that helped a bit but I can’t do that all day.

I am trying to actually live sober. Meet people and experience all the feelings and intimacy I deprived myself of but so desperately wanted when I was drinking.

Now faced with this reality, not knowing what was so off putting about me, I am scared to try anything again and I don’t know what to do. I know I have to keep living sober and that meaning doing something, not isolating.

I just had to share this. I will not drink with you tonight. Thanks.