I’m 28 and have been drinking pretty much everyday since I was probably 24. I don’t usually black out or anything but I drink usually a half pint of vodka in the mornings when I get off work (Nightshift, Midnight to 8am). My father is an alcoholic who really messed up his life. I’ve seen other family members go off to rehab for drugs and alcohol. It runs in my family and I’ve been well aware of it since a young child. I started smoking weed young and mostly stuck with that. A couple years in my early twenties I experimented with a handful of drugs and luckily was able to reign myself in from all drugs except smoking weed. But drinking started once I stopped playing with drugs and it’s stuck around for years. It’s become such a habit to come home and smoke and drink to relax. It makes me feel good. It makes me happy. I feel like MYSELF when I have some drinks. I feel anxious and nervous and irritable when I’m sober. I got out of a serious relationship last year. That’s the relationship I really started drinking in. We were together from the time I was like 23 to 27. It wasn’t a good relationship and I became even more anxious and depressed and very unhappy than I was before I got into the relationship. Fast forward to today and I am sooo much happier than when I was 24. I handle anxiety better. I don’t have panic attacks anymore. I just feel like as I’ve gotten older I’ve really learned how to handle and control my anxiety and emotions so much better, and I’m sure that’s just part of getting older and wiser. My main issue now is drinking. I’m not sure why it’s such an issue. I have a great job. I do good at work. My family relationships haven’t suffered due to my drinking, at all. My personal relationship with my ex DID suffer but that’s another story with a lot of undertones I can’t even get into right now. I guess I’m writing this to vent. I want to stop drinking because I don’t want to hurt my liver, or end up becoming so physically addicted I CANT stop. It’s currently 6:30am here and I will be off work at 8 and wanted to get brunch this afternoon and have some drinks. But at the same time I just wanna be fine sober.