Alcohol and I have a rocky relationship. It was never "just one" and that's the problem.

I'd often find myself waking up, with no recollection of the night and hearing the embarrassment from friends later.

I'd put myself in risky situations. I definitely used alcohol to get thru sex sometimes. Some times consensual, sometimes it wasn't.

But I had been working on it, and was being more aware. Putting myself in safer situations.

The last day I had alcohol, I only had 2 drinks that night. I was doing good.

I consensually went to his room, but was not respected when my consent was withdrawn.

I quit drinking after this encounter.

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As much as I want to shout from the roofs, I AM OVER 200 DAYS SOBER, I also unfortunately am reminded it has been that number of days since I was last sexually assaulted. I am glad I have stopped drinking, but at the same time - that date was the turning point. I know time and therapy can help, but it's only so much.

Trauma is weird, just felt the need to shout into the void.

IWNDWYT.