To sum it up I have depression and this weekend alcohol made everything 100 times worse. I was at the nightclub with a good friend and my cousin. Towards the end of the night, I realized my phone was missing and that I was too drunk to even realize I didn't have it in the first place. Well, after searching frantically for my phone which I did not find (found out today it is in another state hence will need to buy a new phone), I broke down and tried to run into incoming traffic. Now, the phone per se wasn't the only reason as to why I did that but I have been dealing with a lot of loneliness, depression and having alcohol in my system just made everything worse. I see a therapist weekly, probably should get back on meds too, but now I am absolutely embarrassed that a lot of people from this club and now my cousin and friend know that I have some serious issues. I am not sure what to do. I am not actively suicidal sober but I think having no alcohol whatsoever from now on, and avoiding any places that have alcohol/drug use centered around them would be a good idea. I have just been trying my hardest to get past some events in my life that were traumatic and this past weekend was just another traumatic incident that I now need to recover from. Life is hard :(