Would my anxiety and panic attacks still be prevalent like they are today? Or would my body be less sensitive to stimulants and stress and be more balanced? I (34/m) often wonder what my life would be like had I not enjoyed that first drink when I was 18.

Don’t get me wrong, I have accomplished many goals and am in a good place in my life, but all of it has been very difficult for me with my anxiety and panic disorder that has driven me to release through alcohol. I will typically have one night of anywhere from 10-20 drinks every 3-4 weeks. Almost like clockwork it seems. And every 3-4 weeks my anxiety and panic attacks kick my ass for a week straight.

But what came first, my panic disorder or my alcohol use disorder? I have a family history of anxiety disorders on one side, so it’s hard for me to think alcohol caused this for me.