So I’ve posted a couple times over the years. Managed long stints of sobriety. But always relapse. I am hoping I just had my last relapse.

It’s so annoying I stopped for 14 months and then decided I could drink again. I want to find a community but the AA I’ve been trying in SLC really really isn’t working and I wish I was back in NYC.

My boyfriend is at his wits end. Risked my job last night and lied to him about my drinking. I really feel desperate enough to say I can’t drink normally and do not have any interest in doing so anymore. I’m ready to get this down.

I think it’s now or never. I’ve been on this merry go round for 6-7 years. In and out of the rooms, self help books, therapists. I’ve read so much quit lit. But please send me any recommendations you have for podcasts, books, shows.. you name it.

My brain is super foggy. Just feeling very dumb and alone right now. And hoping my boyfriend will stick around long enough to see me change. He obviously doesn’t believe me when I say I’m done drinking. So I’m extra determined.

IWNDWYT