I slipped up last night. I’ve been doing better but haven’t been able to maintain sobriety. I drank until I was no longer coherent. I don’t know how I got so drunk so fast, but I did. I apparently called my boyfriend and yelled at him for I don’t even remember what. My texts to him were gibberish and I don’t even know what I was trying to say. I fell down and now I have bruises all over my legs and one on my cheekbone. I woke up this morning and had no immediate recollection of what happened last night. I even texted my boyfriend that I was sorry for passing out on him last night (which didn’t happen) because I thought it was just a normal morning. I am just an absolute mess. Boyfriend is basically on the verge of leaving me bc sometimes I fall back into drinking and turn into a monster. I can’t live like this. I don’t want to hurt people or hurt myself anymore. I’m going to an AA meeting tonight and I’m so scared bc I’ve never tried it and don’t know what to expect. I just need to unfuck my life.