I need a step parent to talk to.. im in a step father of a 7 year old girl and 10 year old boy for 2 years.. the children are lacking discipline and their nana lives with us.. the kids are given very clear rules and they continue to break them and immediately hide behind nana.. they refuse to try hard on their work unless nana holds their hand..

Today 1. My daughter snuck dorritos and snacks into her room left crumbs and chips under her bed.. we have a roach problem now because of this behavior and I already told her very clearly you do this again its grounded. Today I grounded her infront of her nana.. 10mins later nana has her playing.

1. They are behind on their curriculum so we have them do 5 pages that take about 30mins every morning after they eat.. they waited till 11am till nana woke and played incredibly dumb to the point nana was doing their work for them and they where just applying them selves very little..

My gf tells me to let her mom deal with it.. but its not being delt with lol.. I dont want them to struggle next year so I'm setting mile stones that I know will help them.. and if I try to get them to do chores im the enemy..

Its so hard. I want them to be successful and smart but I know these habits they exhibit are not building good habits in the future.

Just need a hug and advice if I should step back? Or wtf do i do..