Last year my SO broke the news to me: he has a 3 year old daughter with a woman who he had a one night stand with. He found out when she came after him for Child support. After a few months of paternity tests, court ordered child support, and finally meeting his daughter for the first time, he took BM to court for a parenting plan.

What did the judge say? Come back with a temporary parenting plan, and make sure you have worked together on it!

Well...that was easier said than done. BM would ghost my SO, not respond in ways that would make sense (for example, he would as a question and she would say "k"), would accuse him of silly things (trying to take her daughter), make up silly rules (she said NO ONE else could meet their daughter, ever, but him, because it would simply confuse her).

Since the final parentage order in June of 2019, he has gotten to meet his daughter 4 times. He FINALLY told his mom about the situation. No one else in the family (but me) knows. I have a daughter, and he has another daughter full time. Both 8 year old girls.

How long do we wait to tell the girls? The rest of the family?? I haven't met his daughter yet, because we are terrified that if the BM even knows about me, that she won't work with SO on the parenting plan (which so far, she hasn't agreed to anything anyway).

The entire situation is bizarre and we have no idea how to handle when to let other people in the family know about it. He is continuing to try to work with her to nail down a parenting plan, but due to her resistance to everything he proposes, he is just trying to build up the evidence that she isn't cooperating.