I have posted about this before, and will try to attach the link. I've never linked a post before...

We have 2 BM's in our lives. Today my SO will be taking BM2 to court. SD(3) has only met SO once. BM2 and SO had a drunken, one night stand, and BM2 has kept SD away from SO. Last spring, SO was served with papers from the court to confirm paternity. That is when my SO learned he has a daughter. SO managed to talk BM2 into letting him meet his daughter, but she has been resistant since then.

Today he will be going to court to establish a parenting plan. In Washington state, they are fast tracking these court hearings. They make you fill it out a final parenting plan in front of the judge, and battle out your differences in one day. I will not be present, but I imagine it will be brutal.

Last week he confessed to me, that he wished he hadn't gone forward with the parenting pan, and that he fears it would be better for everyone if he were not in contact with SD. He believes he will not be capable of taking care of one daughter from BM1 (who he has full custody of), and managing a relationship with his new daughter from BM2.

I completely understand that he has fears around this. He is living a nightmare, that every man wishes will never happen to them. What can I do and say to him to give him the confidence that he is making the right decision? How can I be there for him? This is such a bizarre scenario that I never imagined we would be in.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/comments/dpacs3/dealing_with_two_bms/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x