I have a DREADED event coming up, and have some big feelings about it.

Here is a snapshot of the situation. My SO has full custody of SD8. BM was found guilty of abusing her, and spent jail time. SD went an entire year without speaking to her mom. During that time, I began dating my SO, so I have never actually met BM. Very recently they began supervised phone calls, and will have their first supervised visit in two days.

I have known my significant other since I was a teenager, and have always run in the same group of friends. So do NOT tell me that I should leave him, or give me any advice on that. We have a very loving relationship, and are in it for the long haul. I only want to speak on this one event and possible future ones.

Every year, my SO's dad invites the family to a Holiday Train. I was invited, and many extended family were invited. I am bringing my dauaghter (8) as well. I had already said yes to attending this event two months ago.

Two weeks ago, SO informs me that his father invited BM. The BM who spent time in jail because she abused her daughter. I was angry. We fought. But eventually I agreed to still attend. His argument is, that she will always be there, and we need to do things together for SD's benefit. I disagree. I grew up in a broken family, and doing events together would just be awful.

Then a few days ago, he drops another bomb on me. Not only is BM going, but so is BM mom and sister. People who tried to discredit my SO during a court case, and SCHEMED to make him look like an unfit parent. Not only are they going, but EVERYONE is going to dinner afterwords. Que another angry fight. I still agree to go, because I had already committed to it, and my daughter is excited for the holiday train.

During our most recent fight, I made it clear that I would have zero problem sharing events with SD's BM's family, if the event focused on the SD. But that going forward, I will NO WAY IN HELL, attend any function that does not focus solely on SD (a birthday, graduation, recital, things of that nature). My SO does not understand why this situation makes me uncomfortable. And that is the part that makes me the most upset.