I have an apartment but I mostly stay with SO. I moved to this city to be with him 1.5 years ago, and while he wanted to live together right away, I told him I wanted to wait. Just a gut feeling, ya know? Plus the commute was terrible... I had my reasons. Come October 2017 (when we had discussed moving in for real), the honeymoon phase was over and I realized he had a lot of work to do before we could move in. A bunch of his exes stuff was still there. She is a HCBM. No CO, SS is 3 and lives with him most of the time and is not in preschool...etc. And I wasn't really ready to step up and be a mom 50-70% of the time. I'm 27 and have just barely wrapped my head around just a few of the things one associates with "adulting." I told him I wanted to wait again about 2 weeks before we were supposed to move in. He was crushed, we almost split, but then he realized how much I was sacrificing and that he had some work to do before I moved in for real. (lots of BM's stuff was still there because she literally lives in a shed in the backyard of the family she nannies for.)

We've been having issues lately and I didn't want to move in until A) we got our issues resolved, B) there was a CO, and C) SS was in preschool. I work from home 70% of the time and I need a quiet workspace. Also, my office (which I go to about 2 days a week) is soooo far from SO. Basically, I spend Friday nights - Tuesday nights at SO's and work in the office on days he has SS. It's been fine, but like I said, SO and I have been rocky.

Today he asked that I move most of my stuff out back to my apartment. I have a LOT here. Half a closet, five drawers, a bunch of books, .. I lived with him until I got an apartment so it was my first "pad" and hard not to sort of nest inside. He says it's too hard to see my stuff everyday when we don't live together, because he WANTS us to live together. I moooostly get it. Maybe it will be good for us. Or good for me at least... I'm going to force myself to use this as an opportunity to spend more time at my apartment and work on independence. But I can't help but feel rejected. And also like... the fact that he kept BM's stuff for so long? And mine has to go? I brought this up but I know he tried and she can't really help herself or take care of herself. I can because I've got IT TOGETHER despite being 6 years younger. (Kinda mean, but whatever, this is a rant.)

Gah. Just kind of wanting to vent but also opinions welcome. I've been thinking we needed space but it always sucks when it doesn't feel like your idea.